The husband retired last week after 20 years in the Navy. He didn't want any fuss and tried to avoid a big retirement ceremony. After some pressure from his command and shipmates, he agreed to an intimate ceremony at the Semper Fidelis Memorial Chapel at the National Museum of the Marine Corps. It was a stunning venue. At the conclusion of the ceremony in which my very humble husband listened to an hour of accolades and discussion of his successful career and was awarded a Meritorious Service Medal, he agreed that it was important to have the ceremony as part of the transition from active duty to retiree. I requested to speak during the ceremony. Below are the words that I shared.
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First, I’d like to
say congratulations to my husband on his retirement and for his 20 years of
service. I’d also like to thank all of our family and friends that have made
the journey to get here to witness today’s events.
My husband has
spent just over half of his life in the Navy. Every year thousands of people
marry someone in the military, adorably unaware of what they’re getting into… I
was one of those people. When I married Greg, the plan was to do 2 tours and
get out, stay in Connecticut and only have 2 kids. Here we are celebrating his
20 year career with our 5 children! We had a baby at every duty station… Can I
just say that I am SO thankful that you are retiring because we couldn’t handle
another baby?
Greg joined as a
20 year old young man after spending 2 years at the University of Connecticut
and finding it wasn’t exactly what he needed at the time. 20 years is a long
commitment. It takes love, dedication and determination. In my recent
reflection of my husband’s career, I’ve realized many parallels between
marriage and a long military career. It can be exciting and thrilling,
especially at first, but that can’t be all that it’s based upon. Just as with
all things, the thrills are short-lived, even as an FMF Corpsman. As we grow in
our careers and in our lives, we are called to take on different roles,
sometimes boring and frustrating tasks. These are the moments that we question
our dedication and commitment. These are the moments when our vows or oaths are
tested, pushed and sometimes broken.
As in marriage,
how someone reacts under these circumstances can be a testament of their
devotion and commitment. Love is steady, it takes perseverance, a willingness
to let go of your ego and above all, it takes forgiveness… That is unless, of
course, you’re dealing with a young inebriated Marine, back from liberty,
banging on your door at 3 am yelling “Doc, I think I need stitches.” (I was
actually on the phone with Greg 17 years ago when he was in Okinawa and that
happened. I don’t know what happened to that young Marine but when Greg put the
phone down, let’s just say, I was happy to be on the other side of the globe.)
But I digress…
Without a shadow
of a doubt, Greg loves his country; he remained loyal and steadfast and served
the Navy and Marine Corps for over half of his life. However, he showed equal
if not greater love to us…his family. He has served, provided for and nurtured
us over the years in such humble but loving ways, just as Greg is. Before his
last deployment, unknown to us, he spent days ordering small gifts and flowers
to be delivered each month while he was gone. The girls and I received a
surprise box from Daddy every month for 7 months in addition to all of our
special occasions. While also preparing for his deployment, he bought cards for
every event he would miss and packed them in his seabag so he could mail them
at the appropriate time. I got a wrinkled anniversary card from Afghanistan
covered in dirt and grit and of the many over the years, it was quite possibly
my favorite. He recorded himself reading children’s books, even in Afghanistan
just so he could stay connected to the girls and they would know that their Dad
was thinking of them, even when he “had to be away to save people’s lives” as
the girls would tell people.
So, my husband, I
know you are ready to move on and begin our next chapter. But, today, I want
you to recognize the accomplishments, the trust, the friendship, and the humor
that went into making your career and our life together possible.
We had opportunity
and growth. We changed, compromised and dedicated ourselves to the Navy and to
our family. We made lifelong friends, met some of the best, some average and
some of the worst people. We adjusted and survived every situation that Navy
life has thrown at us. Yes, we argued
and disagreed but we always came together in the end. We struggled, prospered
and worked hard to educate ourselves and provide a stable environment for our
family.
We have moved,
traveled and had to start over multiple times. We have raised our children to
be responsible, loving and caring individuals who are so uniquely different but
very much the same. Our children adapted to changing schools, leaving friends,
and meeting new ones. For the most part, they did so willingly, because they
understood, that’s what a Navy family does.
The kids and I
watched you grow, advance and share your knowledge with those around you. There
were the weeks before a PRT, studying for advancement exams, midnight calls,
and unexpected deployments. We watched you develop and then develop others.
We instilled
values, morals and ethics in one another as well as our children. We created
traditions, discovered new favorites and explored and experienced some of the
most amazing places in the world. The Navy made these things possible. The Navy
taught us unity. We embraced it and grew from it.
So, as we move
forward to our next adventure, I want you to cherish the memories we’ve made
with our military family and acknowledge how special the Navy and Marine Corps
has been for us.
Remember the good
times; don’t focus on the negative. Remember what the military instilled in
you, the respect you give others, the work ethics embedded, and give credit
where credit is due. I know that you will take those traits that I admire so
much with you in whatever you do.
Remember that we
laughed and danced and enjoyed warm Sicilian nights with our beloved Mineo
family. Remember that we survived tornadoes, historical ice storms, and
earthquakes and raising teenage girls (so far). We stood together as a family,
as one. We stuck together and we supported each other through good times and
bad. It was your passion, your drive and your dedication incorporated with the
support of your family that has made your career a success.
I want you to
relish this moment, to feel honorable, a sense of accomplishment, to reflect
back and remember then I want you to exhale. You did it.
The kids and I
want to thank you for this life, for these adventures, for the privilege of
being a military family and supporting you as you filled such an important
role. We have been honored to stand ashore while you were needed to stand the
watch. The time has come for a new chapter, a new adventure. So, welcome
ashore, my love, you’ve completed a 20-year mission.
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The time has come to Hand Over the Coffee, sit back and relax a little! We are so proud of what you have accomplished.
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| Image by Matthew Hartwig, Sassy Images |
